What is normal for baby sleep?
(Do we really even know?)
It seems like this would be a pretty straightforward answer, right? But it's not.
Despite decades of research, researchers can't agree on what is "normal" or typical for sleep.
Thankfully, babies don't care if we've "figured it out". They carry on nonetheless doing what they've always done! They wake up often, feed when hungry, and make it clear they feel calmer and safer when you are nearby.
Why, if scientists can discovery that trees can talk to each other, and researchers have figured out how we can play tetris with our minds, do we not understand baby sleep? There are a few reasons for that.
There are traditional and cultural differences in what is "normal". So, how babies sleep in one country or part of the world may be different than another. If we only measure sleep in Western countries, we're getting a skewed picture.
There are also differences in researcher perspectives: if researchers expect that it is "normal" means sleeping through the night at 6 months, their research will be oriented to understanding how to make that happen more, rather than explore if that is a reasonable expectation.
There are medical approaches to what is normal, too, which often means that wake ups are seen as an indication of a problem without really understanding what may be biologically and developmentally expected.
In addition, many western countries have shifted away from family-shared sleep to solitary sleep over the last 100 years, changing the whole landscape of what sleep looks like. We've seen a shift towards lower rates of breastfeeding, which are closely related to sleep. Although breastfeeding rates are now on the rise, our understanding for how breastfed babies sleep is still growing to catch up.
So what's normal?
Researchers may not agree with each other, but researchers like Dr. James McKenna, Dr. Lee Gettler, and Dr. Elaine Barry take an anthropological perspective: how have humans been sleeping for milennia, and is there a way to understand that well enough to make sleep work for us even in modern life with modern homes and on our modern schedules?
There are ways to optimize sleep even if we are not living as our ancestors did.
There are ways to understand your individual baby's sleep so you can adjust things to meet their needs, and the sleep needs of everyone in your family. By understanding even at a shallow level what sleep can look like for babies in the first three years, and what it looks like for families around the world, we can start to understand what is universally true: what parts of sleep look the same no matter where in the world we are? And if sleep looks different, why? How can knowing this help us find a solution when sleep does not feel like it is going well?
This kind of thinking means being able to come up with all sorts of workable solutions and strategies for supporting sleep.
Ways to Rethink "Normal":
What is “normal” may not be as easy to figure out as we wish it were. But there's still a way to navigate this that respects everyone's sleep needs and your developing baby.
1. Focus on your baby. Watch, wait, and be curious. See what cues they give to guide you to understand what your baby's normal sleep patterns and needs are. What are your baby’s sleep needs? What does good sleep/ enough sleep/ healthy sleep look like for your baby.
2. Trust your knowledge. There are more books and blogs about how to fix baby sleep than any one person could read, let alone digest. And much of the information is inaccurate, wrong, or up for debate. Trust that your baby knows what to do, and use books as an aid for understanding sleep better, not as a way of fixing sleep.
3. Trust your instincts. You know more than you think.
4. Get support. If you worry something is wrong, or you want help figuring out how to support optimal sleep for your baby, reach out for the support of a sleep consultant whose philosophy aligns with yours.
Wishing you a peaceful night’s sleep (even if it’s not normal for you!).
Warmly,
Heather